Family & pets

Having a child can affect how much tax you need to pay. These are called tax credits. It might also be possible to get state welfare payments (called ‘benefits’) or other help.

• The most common financial help is Child Benefit and Universal Credit (or Child Tax Credit). Contact your local JobCentre Plus to apply (see the main government website for details).
• If you are on a low income, you can also contact your local council to find out if any more help is available – for example you might be able to get free school meals or help with school uniforms or other school costs.
• You might be able to get help with childcare for young children. The main government website has an online calculator that can help you find out how much you could get.
• The NHS (National Health Service) runs ‘Healthy Start’ – vouchers for milk, fruit, vegetables and vitamins for children aged 0-4. Find out if you can qualify from the NHS website.

Be aware that grandparents under the state pension age might be able to claim National Insurance credits if they look after children under 12. Read more on the main government website.

‘Social services’ is the name often given to local council departments that look after vulnerable people, including children. These are usually part of Health & Social Care department of your local council.

If you are struggling to look after your child because of health or mobility problems (your own or your child’s) you can ask them to help you. See the main government website for more information.

You might also be contacted by a social worker because of a referral from a doctor or school. These people are there to help you. A referral doesn’t mean they will take your child away from you – this only happens in very exceptional circumstances.

There are lots of unusual words and phrases that are used in social care. If you don’t understand them, the ThinkLocal website has a guide that can help.

If you have problems with breastfeeding, it is important to call your midwife or health visitor as soon as possible. See the NHS (National Health Service) website for more information about help with breastfeeding.

Other options are:

• Call the National Breastfeeding Helpline: 0300 100 0212
• A charity called the Breastfeeding Network offers advice and groups where you can get help on your technique. Go to the Breastfeeding Network website.
• The NCT is another charity that offers breastfeeding support groups. In some areas you can even book a private home visit. Go to the NCT website.

It is very common to feel depressed or sad for a while after having a baby. Speak to your GP (local doctor) or health visitor. They will be able to give support and treatment.

If there is a serious risk to life, call 999 or go to the A&E (Accident & Emergency) department of your nearest hospital immediately.

• Go to the NHS website for more information.

Most communities offer activities and groups for parents and babies or small children.

Ask at your local library, doctor’s surgery, community hall or church. You can also look online, for example the local council website or Facebook.

In many areas there are also soft play centres, though these can be expensive.

• The Days Out with the Kids website has more ideas.

A toddler group is an informal event designed to give toddlers (very young children) a fun space to play. You can usually turn up at any time, although busy groups might not have space if you do not arrive early.

Toddler groups are sometimes called playgroups or ‘mum and tots’ groups.

Toddler groups are usually quick cheap to attend (about £2 a session) and go on for about 2 hours. Drinks and snacks are usually available too.

Your local council website or library will have information about local groups.

There are lots of types of care available for young children up to age 5. Most types offer a similar amount of education. The price will vary. You might be able to get help.

• Read the blog about Childcare Options for more information.

In the UK, most childcare for very young children is not provided by the state.

The most common state options are nursery schools attached to state primary or lower schools. Although they are popular, they are not always the cheapest childcare available and are usually closed during the school holidays. They are usually for children aged 2-4.

In some areas, the local council also runs nurseries for younger children. You will also find private nurseries and nurseries managed by a charity or voluntary organisation. Find out more on your local council website.

• Find your local council via the main government website.
• Read the blog about Childcare Options.

Nursery schools are childcare attached to a primary or lower schools. Some are private and some are run by the state.

You can apply to any council funded nursery school, regardless of the school catchment area you live in. Be aware that if you are outside your catchment area, going to a nursery school does not mean the child is more likely to get a place at the main school after age 5.

Ask the school for details of how to apply. In England and Wales, you usually need to sign up in the school year before you’d like your child to start.

In Scotland, applications for nursery take place during a special registration week or month. This means for the youngest children (particularly January and February birthdays) you might need to apply for nursery over a year before they start.

Late nursery applications can mean that you don’t get the hours or the times that you would like.

• Read more about nursery school places on the main government website.

Most working parents can get Tax Free Childcare, a government scheme to help with childcare costs. The maximum amount of help you can get is £2,000 a year (£4,000 for a disabled child). The scheme is not available to people who have ‘no recourse to public funds’ on their visa.

All 3 and 4 year olds in England can get 570 hours of free childcare a year (600 hours in Scotland, varies in Wales).

Depending on your income, you might be able to get extra hours – usually up to 30 hours of free childcare a week for a total of 1,140 hours a year.

You can choose which hours work best for you.

The childcare does not need to be provided by the local council – it can be any ‘approved childcare provider’. This could be a childminder, private nursery or playscheme.

Be aware that for children aged 2 and below there is not a lot of financial help from the government unless you are on a low income. This will be changing in 2024 and 2025. There will be 30 hours of free childcare for children over the age of 9 months, plus extra financial help for parents on Universal Credit support.

• The Money Advice Service website can give more information about help with childcare costs.
• The main government website offers a way to check what you could claim.

OFSTED is a government department that checks standards in nurseries in England. It also checks childminders and some people working as nannies.

Each childcare provider is given a rating. The best is called ‘Outstanding’ (or ‘Excellent’ in Scotland and Wales). You can check ratings on the OFSTED website.

There are similar systems in Scotland and Wales.

• In Scotland, go to the Care Inspectorate website.
• In Wales go to the Care Inspectorate Wales website.

People who work with children in England and Wales must have a ‘DBS check’ to check their criminal record.

In England and Wales, DBS checks are done by the government’s Disclosure and Barring Service.

In Scotland, it is called a PVG check and is done by Disclosure Scotland.

Once people have had the check, they are given a certificate. You can ask to see this certificate before you ask anyone to look after your child.

Early Years is usually the name given for education for children in the first years of life.

The Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS) is an educational standard set by the government for children up to 5 years old. All OFSTED-registered childcare in England must follow the EYFS. This includes preschools, childminders and nurseries.

In Scotland, it is called the Early Years Framework. In Wales, it is the Foundation Phase.

• Read more on the main government website.

If you are an employee, your rights depend on how long you have worked for your employer. There are 4 main rights:

• Time off for antenatal appointments and other care recommended by a doctor or midwife
• Maternity leave (‘leave’ means time off – you must take a minimum of 2 weeks’ after the baby is born)
• Maternity pay or maternity allowance
• Protection from unfair treatment

You must tell your employer you are pregnant at least 15 weeks before the baby is born (or as soon as you find out, if later). You cannot take time off for antenatal appointments until you have told your employer.

People who are ‘workers’ (not employees) do not always have the same rights.

• Go to the main government website for more details about your rights when pregnant.

Employees are allowed to take 52 weeks off work when they have a baby. The earliest date you can start is usually 11 weeks before the expected birth date. The latest date you can start is the child’s actual birth.

• The first 26 weeks is called Ordinary Maternity Leave.
• The second 26 weeks is called Additional Maternity Leave.
• You should also get the holiday time you would normally have.

You can choose to come back to work before the end of your maternity leave as long as you take 2 weeks off after the birth of your baby (4 weeks if you work in a factory). You need to tell your employer when you want to come back to work.

Be aware that ‘workers’ are not usually entitled to maternity leave. This includes people on zero-hours, freelance or casual contracts.

• Read more about maternity leave on the main government website.

Most employees and workers who earn over £118 a week can receive Statutory Maternity Pay for up to 39 weeks if they have been working at the same place for at least 26 weeks. Statutory Maternity Pay is currently about £150 a week. Your employer might give you extra.

It stops after 39 weeks, although some employers still give payments.

If you cannot get Statutory Maternity Pay, you might be able to get Maternity Allowance instead. Some people on low incomes might also be able to get a SureStart Maternity grant (in Scotland, it is a Pregnancy and Baby payment). See the main government website for details.

If you have a child via a surrogate you might be able to get Statutory Adoption Leave and Pay.

• The main government website has an online calculator that can tell parents how much time off (leave) they could get after the birth of their child (or after they have adopted a child). It is quick and easy to use. It also shows minimum amounts of pay.

People whose partners are having a baby (either their own or through a surrogate), or who are part of a couple adopting a child, might be able to get time off from work. This is called Paternity Leave.

Paternity Leave can be 1 or 2 weeks. It might be paid, but not always.

You might also be able to take unpaid leave to attend 2 antenatal appointments with the mother of the child.

• There are rules about who can qualify. Read more on the main government website.

Employees can have time off to attend 2 adoption appointments after they have been matched with a child. Most employees earning over £118 a week can get Statutory Adoption Leave and Pay after the child comes to live with them.

It is also possible for a couple adopting a child to share time off and pay. There are rules about who qualifies for this.

• Read more about parental adoption rights on the main government website for details.

If it is an emergency, call 999 or go to the A&E (Accident & Emergency) Department of the nearest hospital.

For less serious illnesses, make an appointment with your GP (local doctor).

Be aware that GPs are not specialist children’s doctors. If you are still worried about your child after seeing a GP or have been unable to get an appointment, ring 111 (in Wales call 0845 46 47) or go to A&E if you child is under 2 years of age. They have specialist doctors there.

Never ignore your instincts with children. Keep asking for help if you are worried.

• Go to the HEALTHCARE chapter for more information about the health system in the UK.

The NHS (National Health Service) provides free child vaccinations for major diseases like measles, whooping cough and meningitis. They are usually given between birth and age 13.

Contact your GP (local doctor) to ensure your child is on the schedule. They can also help if your child has missed some of the vaccinations.

Sight tests for children are free on the NHS (National Health Service). Contact a local optician to arrange a test if you are worried – they can go at any age and do not need to be able to read.

If your child needs glasses and are under 16, they will get a voucher to help with the cost. In some opticians, this will be enough to pay for the glasses.

You do not need to buy glasses in the same place you have your sight test.

If you are worried about your child’s hearing, take them to your GP (local doctor). The doctor can arrange a hearing test with a specialist.

Yes, it is usually possible to stay with your child. Many children’s wards have special beds for adults that can be placed near the child.

There are also charities that offer accommodation near hospitals for parents and families. Sometimes it is possible to stay for weeks or even months, as needed. Hospitals run schools for children (and their siblings) who need long-term care.

Ask the nurses at the hospital for more details.

If you are worried about your child’s mental health, contact your GP or school. They can advise about services in your area.

For teenagers and young people there is a free online support service called Kooth. If they prefer to use the phone, the Childline telephone service is available at 0800 1111. Calls are free.

Usually, people bring a gift and a birthday card to a child’s birthday party. The gift value is usually between £8-£15. Some very wealthy groups might expect a gift of a higher value.

In Britain, it is customary for the host to provide all the food and drink. Guests don’t usually bring a donation of food or drink. If you would like to do this, consider asking the host if they would like you to bring something, because parties (and the food) are often carefully planned by the host and any extra food might end up wasted.

Birthday parties for children are very variable, but there are some common customs among them all. They usually last about 2 hours.

The location might be at someone’s house. Usually there will be games (such as ‘pass the parcel’, ‘sleeping lions’ or ‘musical bumps’) and then food. Children are often expected to come in costume or dress smartly, although it depends on the theme of the party. The parents will provide food and drink and a birthday cake.

It is also very normal for the party to be at a special activity venue, for example a bowling alley, soft play centre, swimming pool or trampoline centre. These venues often have special ‘party packages’ that give entry as well as food and drink for all the children at the party. The parents usually bring a birthday cake, though sometimes these are provided as well.

It is usual for parents of young children (1-5) to stay at the party. This is a good way to meet other parents. There might not be any food arranged for the parents, although they are usually offered a drink.

For older children, it is usually acceptable to stay or leave, as you prefer. It can be a good opportunity to meet other people or to grab some free time!

At the end of the party, the guest children are usually given a ‘party bag’ (up to the age of about 10).

It is polite to send a text message to say thank you.

At the end of a young child’s birthday party, it customary for all the guests to receive a party bag. This is usually a bag full of small cheap toys and/or sweets. There are companies online who will sell pre-filled party bags if you don’t want to find your own items.

There have been some news stories about party bags containing expensive electronics (like iPods), but this is very unusual.

Usually children are also given a piece of birthday cake to take home with them.

Many parents send their young children to bed early, about 7pm. This means many social events with young families also end early. Older children stay up later, but even at 10 years old they are likely to be in bed by 9.30pm.

• The NHS (National Health Service) website has guidelines about how much sleep is recommended for children.

There is no specific law against leaving your child at home alone. But it is illegal to leave them if they could suffer or be hurt, so the child should be mature enough to manage while you are not there.

As a guide, babies, toddlers and young children should never be left alone. Children under 12 should not be left for a long time. Under 16s should not be left alone overnight.

• Read more on the main government website.

First you should take a pregnancy test. You can buy these in pharmacies and supermarkets. Once you have a positive result, book an appointment with your GP (local doctor). They will take a blood test to confirm the result.

People who are classed as ‘ordinarily resident’ (living in Britain legally) can get free NHS (National Health Service) care while they are pregnant or during/after they give birth. This usually includes people on visas or people from the European Union.

There may be a charge for other people. Emergency care is free.

• Go to the HEALTHCARE chapter for more information.

The care you have when you are pregnant is called ‘antenatal’ care. Usually, you will have no tests or appointments until about week 8 of your pregnancy.

Between week 8 and 12, you have an ultrasound scan. You have a second ultrasound scan between week 18 and 21. Other tests might be done, for example for Down’s Syndrome.

There will also be regular examinations and blood/urine tests with the midwife. If there are any problems, you will be referred to a specialist. It is unlikely you will see the same midwife each time.

In most places, you will be given a book of Maternity Notes that you take to each appointment. Some places offer an online service instead.

• Go to the NHS website for more information about antenatal care.

A pregnancy examination is usually just a measurement of the distance between your navel and your pubic bone. It is very rare to have an internal examination. You will not need to take off all your clothes.

Doctors, midwives and nurses might be male or female. If you don’t want a man to see you, you can say this when you book your appointments.

Antenatal classes will help you prepare for the birth of your baby. They also help you meet local people who are having babies at the same time as you. This is a good way to make friends with other new parents.

Sign up for classes as early as possible because they are often very popular.

• Antenatal classes are offered free by the NHS (National Health Service). Ask your midwife or at your local doctors’ surgery for details. Read more on the NHS website.
• Antenatal classes from a parenting charity called the NCT can be an even better way to make friends because you have a set group that you will meet again and again. People often become friends for life. Classes are at weekends or evenings. There is a fee for the classes, but it varies depending on your income. Go to the NCT website for more information.

If you don’t want to use an NHS (National Health Service) hospital, there are private hospitals and private birth clinics available.

It is also possible to ask to give birth at home if you are judged to have a low-risk pregnancy. An NHS midwife will visit you during labour. You can pay for a private midwife instead, if this is preferred.

Many larger NHS (National Health Service) hospitals have a range of birthing facilities to help you feel at home, including relaxation areas with bean bags and sofas, and birth pools. However, these are usually only available for people with a low-risk pregnancy. Spaces are also limited. Sometimes you need to book the birth pools in advance.

Most birthing areas are just a bedroom with an ensuite shower room.

Choosing a caesarean is known as a ‘planned caesarean’ or ‘elective caesarean’. If you do not want a vaginal birth, you can discuss this with your doctor or midwife. It might be possible to have a cesarean section on the NHS.

• Read more about this option on the NHS website.

Yes, it is usually possible for a partner to stay with you during labour and birth. Some birthing rooms have a sofa bed for partners. Others only have a chair. Be aware your partner will not be served food or drink, but most hospitals have cafes, restaurants and vending machines.

You will need personal items (pyjamas, slippers, pillow, toiletries, sanitary pads). You will also need your Maternity Notes. It is a good idea to bring a bottle of water and snacks in case you get hungry between meal times.

You are expected to clothe and feed your baby yourself, so you will need baby clothes, nappies and bottles/milk (if you are bottle feeding).

You will also need your baby’s car seat. Most hospitals will not let you take the baby home unless you have the correct car seat.

If the birth was not complicated, you can usually leave the hospital after all the baby’s health checks have been done. This is usually about 6 hours later. You might be able to stay longer if you want to rest.

Sometimes you need to stay longer until you and your baby are well enough to go home. Speak to your midwife or doctor for more information.

Babies are often weighed in Imperial measurements, pounds (lbs) and ounces (oz). A pound is nearly half a kg (1lb = 0.45kg). An ounce is about the same as 25g (1oz = 28g). There are 16oz in 1lb.

You might have to ask if you want a measurement in metric weight.

The average weight of a newborn baby is 7lb 8oz for boys and 7lb 4oz for girls.

Birth registrations are not done automatically. Instead, at least one parent must go to a local register office. This is usually the mother of the child.

In England and Wales, registration must happen within 42 days of the birth. The parent will need at least one piece of personal identification and the child’s ‘red book’ (health record).

In Scotland, registration must happen within 21 days. You must take the card issued by the hospital and your marriage/civil partnership certificate (if relevant).

Sometimes you can register the birth at the hospital.

• For births in England and Wales, go to the main government website.
• For births in Scotland, go to the National Registers of Scotland website.

If you rent your home, you will need to ask the landlord. You must look after your pet properly. Dogs must have a microchip by the time they are 8 weeks old.

• Britain has strict rules about animals to make sure they are well looked after. Go to the main government website for details.

It is possible to have many types of birds, reptiles, fish, mammals and invertebrates, but you must have the right type of house and environment for them.

• There are many charities that look for new homes for unwanted pets. They can be a good place to find a new pet. One of the biggest charities is the RSPCA. See the RSPCA website for details.
• All animals must be cared for properly. If you don’t, you might have to pay a fine or go to prison. See the main government website for details.
• You must not catch healthy wild animals to keep as a pet.
• For any animal that is believed to dangerous, you must get a Dangerous Wild Animal licence from your local council.

The government has advice about where to buy cats or dogs because some breeders do not treat their animals properly. Animal shelters (charities that look after unwanted animals) are also good places to find a new pet.

Some breeds of dog are illegal because they are too dangerous. The breeds are: the Pit Bull Terrier, the Japanese Tosa, the Dogo Argentino and the Fila Brasileiro.

All dogs must have an identity microchip by the time they are 8 weeks old. Some places will do this for free. You must also register the number on a government-approved database and keep the details up to date. Be aware there are around 15 separate databases.

From 2023, cats will also need a microchip and database registration by age 20 weeks.

• For more information, see the main government website.

You can walk with a dog in most places, but look out for signs with special instructions. Usually you must remove your dog’s poo by placing it in a bag and putting it in a special bin. This helps to keep the country clean.

• You are usually not allowed to have dogs in playgrounds or in sports fields when there are white lines painted on the grass. This is to protect people playing outside.
• Keep a dog on a lead at all times near farm animals. It is illegal for your dog to chase or bite them, and even small dogs can make farm animals very stressed.
• Keep your dog under close control on the England Coast Path to prevent accidents.
• Between March 1–July 31, you must keep your dog on a lead of 2 metres or less in places where you don’t have to stay on a footpath (like moors and mountains). This is to protect birds that nest on the ground.
• Many popular beaches do not allow dogs in the summer.
• Some villages do not allow dogs to be walked off a lead within their boundary. See the local parish council website for details.

The internet is full of ideas for dog walkers, including special secure fields for dogs. You can also find dog-friendly hotels and holiday houses.

If your dog goes missing, the DogLost website might be able to help you find it. It has resources for making posters and lists of local volunteers who might be able to help you.

Other ideas:

• Call local vets
• Contact the animal charity RSPCA (see the RSPCA website)
• Put a note on a local Facebook page

Beastwatch UK offers a search and rescue service for exotic animals, for example snakes, lizards or racoon dogs. It is run by volunteers who can support and advise owners of exotic pets.

You can also contact Beastwatch UK if you find an exotic animal.

To travel to European Union countries, all dogs, cats and ferrets must have:

• microchip
• rabies vaccination & booster
• Animal Health Certificate (AHC) from a vet
• tapeworm treatment certificate (dogs) for some countries

It is recommended you start the process at least 1 month before you want to travel.

There are different rules for more than 5 pets, other pets and other countries.

You will need to meet the UK’s rules in order to bring your pet back into the UK.

• Read more on the main government website.

Animals are not usually allowed in the passenger area of planes leaving Britain, unless they are assistance animals (for example, guide dogs for blind people). One exception is ‘emotional support’ animals on direct flights to the USA.

Most pets must travel as cargo.

There are rules about which documents and tests an animal needs to have before it is allowed into another country. Check animal entry rules in the country where you are going at least 5 months before you want to travel.

Be aware Northern Ireland counts as an EU country for pet travel purposes.

• Read more on the main government website.

If you want to keep chickens or ducks in your garden, you need to check local council rules about ‘livestock’ or ‘poultry’. If you rent, you also need to check with your landlord.

If you own your land, check the title deeds (the documents that come when you bought the property). If ‘livestock’ is banned, then this includes chickens and ducks. Cockerels are not usually welcome in towns or cities.

By law you must look after the birds well. There is useful information on the RSPCA website (an animal charity).

• If you have more than 50 birds you must tell the government. Go to the main government website for details.

Pigs and goats are very cute, but in Britain they are considered farm animals, not pets. The title deeds (legal documents) for many houses specifically do not allow keeping pigs or goats ‘livestock’. There are also strict rules about looking after them, especially in England. For example, it is against the law to feed pigs leftover food.

If you want to move a pig, you need a licence. This is to help stop the spread of disease. You cannot take a pig for a walk or to see a vet without the correct documents. It is also illegal to drive pigs in a car, because they must be in a vehicle designed for pig transport.

You need to check local council rules and the deeds of your property about ‘livestock’. There might be a ban on keeping pigs or goats.

• Read our blog about keeping a pig as a pet.

If you find you can’t keep your pet, there are lots of animal charities that will try to find a new home for it.

You can search online for animal shelters local to you or for the type of animal you have. You can also contact:

• Battersea Dogs & Cats Home website (London only)
• RSPCA website
• Blue Cross website

It may take the animal shelters a few months to find space for your pet, so get in touch with them as soon as you can.